Sending myself a sign...

Chuang Tzu said, "A path is made by walking on it."  Think about that for a minute, just sit with it.  You'll feel your brain latch on and go boom shortly.

My Note from the Universe the other day said, "A question to ask yourself each morning, Deborah, that really lights fires, gongs bells, and summons resources is, "What little, mortal, baby steps can I take today that will demonstrate expectancy, prepare for my dream's manifestation, and above all, place me within reach of life's magic?"

Please, Deborah, ask this question, and then answer it with those little, baby steps, even when they're sometimes the same steps you took yesterday. I promise you, you'll go down in history as a giant among your kind.

It's never too late,
    The Universe

In December of 2006, I went to Cuba.  When I got home, with less than 2 weeks before the beginning of the semester and after a 12 year hiatus from academia, I decided to go back to school.  I had no money, no plan, and no idea how much bureaucratic paperwork for me to wade through had been generated 12 years ago, when I left the academy.

I feel like when I got back from Cuba, I picked up a torch, a baton of some sort, to hold on to as I set off on this path.  No sprint, this, but rather the closest thing to a long-term planned life goal that I've ever engaged in consciously.  I started strong.  I have the best support team in the whole entire universe.  I've lost my breath a few times, had some muscle cramps, had to lie down by the side of the road for a second to catch up with myself.  I've also passed markers.

Think about driving in a foreign territory.  You have good directions and a map, but things seem to be sliding awry, and you start to wonder if maybe you missed your exit, or took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.  Suddenly, you see a marker that you're on the right road, that you didn't miss anything; you're right on track.  Imagine the feeling of immense relief that comes in those moments.  Let it was over you right now, that feeling of being held, directed, lofted along your way.  That's a damned fine feeling, innit?

I'm on a path.  I'm making it by walking it.  A year and a half--almost two--into my long term plan and I have a value for thinking things through and being well-prepared that I never have before.  As a proffy friend of mine is wont to say, "Failing to plan is planning to fail."

The first roadsign that I passed on this trip was graduating with the 2nd BA.  I set out to do it, I defined my time frame, I met my goal (with a 3.93, no less).  When that happened, I felt the washing sense of relief and restored faith you get when you see the traffic sign a bit after you begin to worry you took a wrong turn.  It was my first big milestone on this path.

I'm set to run into another one tomorrow.  It's called the Graduate Records Exam.  Most schools want to see your standardized test scores before they deign to let you in.  I'm game, I can play along.  I've been studying since late May/early June and I'm about as ready for this as I can be (even though my math skills still give me the willies).  I'm hoping that as I pass the roadsign of the GRE tomorrow, I'll feel that same sense of relief and blessing.  I'm also hoping I get to pass that marker with at least a 500 on the math and 800's in language.  A path may be made by walking on it, but that doesn't mean I can't walk it in style, sashaying right on by with a wave in my hand and a smile in my eye. 

And that's where you come in.  If you're reading this, you've merged into my lane for a moment.  Share a breath with me, and send me some of that being held-ness, some of that assurance, the knowing of rightness that comes from seeing a milestone.  Love me up good, and tickle my left brain so it's wide awake tomorrow.  And maybe, just maybe, if we're doing this according to plan, you'll have read this silly blog post and seen something in it that gives you that sense of, "Whew!  I haven't missed my turn after all!"