Good and Bad Backwards

Okay, so I might be a simp, here, but I just realized something (yes, please do picture me like a South Park character at the end of an episode; an image is provided for your convenience in so doing).  Please note: my use of the terms good and bad are for relative ease in reading; the use of the terms are not value judgments.

I'm havin a great day.  Nothing special happened, nothing spectacular or out of the ordinary.  It's a good day because I'm rightly aligned; it's a good day because I chose a good day and have the grace to see that I got what i asked for, and that makes me happy.

It's a good day.  I'm happy.

I have bad days.  Some of them are pretty effing lousy, in fact, especially when my skinsuit acts up and I end up experiencing my life as painful.  When that happens, I tell someone about it.  I let my partner, for instance, know that I don't feel well, and this that and the other.  My partner hears all about my bad days, whatever the cause might be.  .

But today's not a bad day.  Today is a good day.  I am well.

So it occurs to me: go pounce on the partner.  A hug, a smile, a kiss.  When I feel crappy, it's all about the blah blah blah crappy blah.  But when I have a good day, my apparent default setting is to keep it to myself, to not bother to mention that I'm having a good day.

How back asswards is that?

I mean, it's not like I'm going to endure my life, "suffering" in silence.  That's not who I am.  I think what's more important is to bring the expression of good, happy, contended to fore, putting those things verbally into the awareness of loved ones.

But it's deeper.  When I'm in a good place, odds are my partner has a lot to do with it.  I am the most held, bestest cared-for person I know. 

When I'm in a bad day place, my partner hears about it and assumes that it has something to do with hir.  That's simply not true.  When I'm in a bad day place, it more often than not has nothing whatsoever to do with my partner.  NOTHING.

When I'm in a good day place, it almost always has something to do with my partner.  Some kind act, or a smile, or something.  And the assumption is, because I say nothing, that partner has nothing to do with it.

Again, I ask you, how back assward is that?

New Plan.

When happy: talk about it.  Ensure that partner [insert loved one, friend, cohort or colleague here] knows that it's a good day place, and that their existence has something to do with being in a good day place.  If nothing is obvious, exert gratitude and find something less obvious.  Surprise self with even more reasons to be grateful!  Woohooo!

In the event of a bad day place, disburse information about my state as needed in order to not lay a trip on [person].  Delivery of info only; no manipulation for emotional participation in bad day place.  Remind [person] that it has nothing to do with them (because whether immediately or ultimately, it's true that no one else is responsible for our choices). 

I think it's a good plan, and will help me learn how to move forward into the world from the happy place, instead of walking around backwards wondering why I can't see where I'
m going and why I'm not happy.  :)